"You should be donatin' that shit to charity, but oohhhhh no! You gotta be tellin' Jesus that his people ain't good enough for y'alls fancy, fancy doughnuts!"
"That's what y'all get!" she cackles as the bag vomits its contents across the sidewalk.
I ignore her prattling as I try to cram a flimsy compostable bag of undecorated dough into a bloated dumpster.
#Voodoo donuts maple bacon movie#
"Are you throwing those away?" It's 4 am on a Saturday in August and a spindly woman in a leopard-print dress screams this at me as I hoist 70 pounds of unused doughnuts into a metal container marked "COMPOST ONLY." She's a cracked-out Beyonce starring in a Spike Lee movie about a prostitute who reforms and goes to medical schoolâbefore she gets clean.
/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/63262617/voodoo_doughnut_fb.0.jpg "voodoo donuts maple bacon")
Voodoo's worst shift, by far, is the janitor, who spends eight hours washing and rewashing the same trash can-sized mixing bowl, mopping the grease-slick floors and wrangling an endless barrage of garbage. Not one of those jobs is particularly undesirable. There's also a prep shift that does nothing but scoop frosting from one bin into another, crush Chick-O-Stick bars for a doughnut no one ever buys and mix 15 shades of red icing for the deco team's piping bags.įinally, doughnuts are sold by a register jockey who tries to stuff cash into the drawer fast enough not to get fired. I capped out at decorator, never rising to yeaster or fryer, positions where you can either disfigure yourself or ruin an entire batch of dough. After that, they learn to make the doughnuts. Employees don't learn this until they've mastered register and janitor shifts. Racks of plain doughnuts sit until a team of two or three decorators turn them into Old Dirty Bastards and Grape Apes. After the dough rises, it goes to a fryer charged with mixing batter for cake doughnuts, and ensuring enough bacon is fried and ready to adorn Voodoo's top-selling confection. A tandem of "yeasters" follows strict guidelines-written on pink paper that's haphazardly taped to the wall-to determine how much yeast to roll out and when. Security queues at PDX, it takes a small army of people.įlour, yeast and other staples arrive in nondescript bags via BakeMark USA, a restaurant wholesaler based in Southern California. To fill the pink boxes littered throughout Old Town and being carried in Rules for the Voodoo stereo, but it'€™s considered poor form to turn down Shiftmates decides to blare during his hour of stereo time. If Henry Ford were to strap on a pair of slip-resistant Doc Martens and step behind the counter, he'd start excitedly asking questions-assuming he could be heard over Metallica's Master of Puppets, which one of my In June, they hired seven of us from a group of applicants that packed the New Market Over the summer, Voodoo hires new employees in waves. He's a tall, skinny kid wearing a beanie-just like me. If I don't keep things moving, the kid they're training by my side could be my replacement. I watch the new guy at the next register ring up $30 in bacon maple bars for a portly couple in matching Oakland Raiders jerseys. Do you take American Express?" Nike guy asks-oblivious to the "CASH ONLY" signs. "My girlfriend just texted me to get her something gluten-free, but I'm out of cash. The day manager intercepted him in the back room before his scheduled There's no way I'll drop enough cash from my till at lunchtime not to get fired-it just happened to the friendly goth kid hired at the same time as me. Today is the day I get canned because I have to spendġ0 minutes helping this guy decide on the color of sprinkles on his cake doughnut.
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